Confession

I have a confession.. and I debated on if I should ‘Post” this or not, but for the sake of my ability to be transparent via ONE avenue (my blog) I must share this: Not even 2 weeks after my announcement of us taking a break, I just caught myself reading the 999 Reasons to Laugh at Fertility blog… then veering off to other Infertility websites, and of course visiting other Infertile Buddy blogs.

Most likely because my Mittelschmerz is always so prominent.  For those who are not familiar, Mittelshmerz (I don’t know how to pronounce it) is the pain some women get when ovulating.  For me, it is sometimes more painful than my actual menstrual cramps.  It doesn’t last long, but it is surely painful.  Sometimes I feel like I need to lay down.  Today was one of those days.  And though we are on a break, how could I ignore this all-tell sign?

Well, without grossing you out, I nonchalantly found a way to convey my love for my husband without sounding like “Let’s Do This NOW!!!” although he knows me pretty well and could probably tell I wanted more than hugs and kisses at Half Time during the Florida State game. Yes, I tried my best to wait till Half Time at least.

Anyway, glad I’m a bit anonymous on this site cause I’m sure I’d get a few slaps on my wrist for even mentioning that I haven’t been true to my break from baby-making.  But I know I’m not alone in this, I’ve caught hubby in a few conversations as well.  Guess it has become a way of life for us.  We’ll try the best we can to RELAX as many would say “it might happen when you stop trying”…. (and all the Infertiles say……. “Riiiigggghhhtt”)

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12 Comments

  1. Nobody is slapping you on the wrist. You decided to stop IVF but that doesn’t mean you stopped wanting a baby. There’s nothing to stop you trying the old-fashioned way. And I bet hubby wasn’t complaining … too much … the Half Time adverts are boring anyway. Good luck.

  2. During my time with infertility I found the bedroom was more of a science project or chemistry test. As you may have guessed, we quit trying and two months later BAM!
    Not to get all religious on you but sex is a passionate thing to express love for each other. In my experience, passion wasnt there anymore. God designed our bodies to do amazing things when expressing love to our partners. The expression is the passion.
    No shame in letting go of some infertility method. Be excited to have only passion kicking off the chemistry.

  3. I was told by our Reproductive Edocrinologist NOT TO TRY to have a baby while we were doing a bunch of tests. So I had a ton of drinks to self-medicate. Then I was drunk and angry and took it out on Mr. J. So when we finally got around to kissing and making up…. whoops! I was prego with Kiddo. Things work out in mysterious ways sometimes. 🙂 My Doc wasn’t too mad at us, we just went on to trying to keep the pregnancy viable. Now she’s four year old.

  4. I decided not to temp or OPK test this month because I was so frustrated. Sure enough, my body started sending O signs ( a week early!) so we jumped on it. I guess I was trying to be a rebel, but when you want a baby, you can only pretend to relax for so long. I’m crossing my fingers that the surprise sex will turn out to be good news for you guys!

  5. I hate it when people tell me to stop trying. What does that even mean? I can’t stop wanting a baby so how do I stop trying. It’s easy to say when you’re fertile!
    Don’t you worry about you little trip back to baby making, you try all you want – there’s no harm in trying and it sounds like your having fun doing it so it can’t be wrong. Good luck ***virtual high five***

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