Recipe for Crazy
1 pill Birth Control
1 shot Lupron
Take Lupron in the morning and Birth Control in the evening. Everyday, indefinitely.
Had another check up. It has now been a full 5 weeks since egg retrieval. Our 6 little blastocysts have been patiently waiting for my body to prepare for them. I’m now on my 4th straight week of birth control and 2nd week of Lupron.
For those of you who have already paid your due diligence on this lupron/birth control cocktail, God bless you. I’m sure that symptoms are different with each patient, but for me……
I am at my wits end. I have hot flashes like it’s coming from my core. Then I get cold…. chills cold. I want to cry at EVERYTHING. I attended a pre-screening of Draft Day yesterday, which was a great movie. And I CRIED when the Kevin Costner character made his draft pick. I can usually contain a good cry but for some reason I couldn’t. I feel like my insides (my nerves) are on edge. I want to cry, scream, sleep… all at the same time. I’m tired, achy, throwing up… and my hair is falling out… is that normal?
It doesn’t help that my boys have picked this very month to have their own teenager problems. It also doesn’t help that my husband considers every outburst as a “mood swing”. It’s at these very times when I need the support of my family, but on the outside I look “normal” so to them, I’m just crazy. On top of that, my car broke down twice and overheated 3 times.
I had my doctor’s appointment this morning. My ovaries look better, well rested. Thank goodness. But my lining is still a bit thick. Which means I could be looking at another week (or 2) on this dreaded Lupron cocktail. I NEED SUPPORT. Seriously. I don’t want to give up, but this medicine is draining all good things out of me.
Note to My Normal Self: Come back please! I miss you!
P.S. In writing this post, I looked up the word “Patient” (for spell-check purposes) and it came up with various synonyms: enduring, easygoing, tolerant, serene….. None of which describes me, the patient (noun), right now. Ahh, the double entendre.